Wise Words

Wise Words ....

Start by Prioritising Your Happiness

Some people treat happiness as their main goal. When you ask them what they want in life they say, 'to be happy'. But happiness can be elusive. It creeps up on us when we least expect it, when we find ourselves smiling at a beautiful sunset, a table laid for a family meal, succeeding in a challenge, watching our friends laugh at a terrible joke.

Happiness is rarely about expensive gifts or acquisitions. So when planning for a positive, fulfilling life it's important to start by prioritising your happiness. Let's look at what this entails.

- Practise daily gratitude. This doesn't mean settling for second best or sitting back on your laurels, but is about being grateful for what you have and finding a balanced, grounded approach to life. Appreciation of others, valuing the lessons learned from challenges and setbacks, the relationships in your life, the food, air, roof over your head, running water, all can all be taken for granted but are things many others don't have.Those people would be happy to be in your shoes.

- Happiness comes from being inspired, so ensure you have things that motivate you to improve, to be better, reach a higher level. This may be learning new skills, expanding your area of expertise, focusing on a new direction, something that elevates your vision, stretches you and brings a sense of achievement.

- Leaving our familiar comfort zone can be scary and exhilarating, yet often results in us feeling happy and proud of ourselves afterwards. Even trying new food, another route to work, having a go at something we're apprehensive about can prompt a positive shift in our thinking and a happier sense of self.

- Being challenged is important to happiness too. Being receptive to new ideas and initiatives, being prepared to say, 'yes' even when unsure of yourself. Why not say 'yes' first and work out how to do it afterwards! Self-improvement and development bring their own happiness and fulfillment.

- Do things you do well. Being challenged is often a good experience but if life is already stressful making time to do something you know you're good at can be an important reminder of how competent and capable you are. And we all need a little window of success in a stressful life. Enjoy it, even if it's icing a cake, putting up shelving or supporting an elderly neighbour.

- Rewards can bring happiness. Yes, we deserve to be rewarded for our efforts financially. We need to live and pay our bills. But also reward yourself by ensuring you have a space, a place where you go and feel secure, able to relax. It may be your bedroom, with lovely prints, cushions, flowers and music. When you're there you close the door on the world, destress and chill.

- Being involved with others can bring happiness; teaching, mentoring, coaching, volunteering are often fulfilling experiences. And the people we're involved with may bring new ideas, inspiration, suggestions of their own that add value to our lives.

- Don't follow the crowd. Others have their own stories, motivations and limitations. They may begrudge you your energy and drive, preferring that you don't remind them of their apparent lack of ambition, but we're all different and each of us have needs and wants that evolve over time. Reflect on those relationships and consider if it's time to reduce their influence in your life.

- Mix with people who like, support and encourage you; they're your fans and ambassadors. People who like you treat you with respect, may challenge you on occasion, but they're in your court and you're in theirs. Nurturing 'your' people allows you to be vulnerable, wrong sometimes and able to discuss any problem areas in an accepting, non-judgmental arena.

- Indulge your senses. Happiness comes from incorporating smell, taste, touch as well as music and beautiful art and colours. Make time to enjoy nature, your pets. Visit the beach, the forest and stimulate your senses; feel the sand underneath your feet.

- Give yourself regular free time. Happiness is about ensuring there's balance in your life. Prioritising time for fun, sport, exercise, reading is important. Sometimes work may require extra attention, but aim to regularly give yourself time out, perhaps just to sit with a coffee at the mall.

- Insist on being treated with respect by those you come into contact with. Good boundaries matter. Unhappiness can occur if we feel disrespected, treated dismissively or are taken for granted. Intercept bad treatment at the outset and be firm about good manners and consideration. But equally remember to invest time and attention in your good relationships.

- Deal with your demons. Happiness is about being at peace with ourselves, forgiving any failures, past mistakes or errors of judgement. If you're struggling therapy coulhttps://ezinearticles.com/?Start-by-Prioritising-Your-Happiness&id=10262600d be a good way to heal and recover from negative patterns and ways of thinking. Be gentle with yourself and move on from unhelpful self-talk. It can make all the difference to your happiness levels.

Look after yourself. Eat well, exercise, commit to regular sleep. Practice these tips, prioritise your health and happiness will follow.

Susan Leigh, counselor, hypnotherapist, relationship counselor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.

She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas to help you feel more positive about your life.

To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

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Why You Are Always One Decision Away From Improving Your Life

Good Habits Build Strong Character

Are you aware of anything holding you back from improving your life at present? It may be a resource such as money, better living conditions, access to certain information or services? Whilst I don't discount the value of these things can improve our circumstances, generally, our thoughts are the biggest impediment holding us back because we believe them. As an example, I was speaking with a client recently who confessed how she nearly didn't make it to the gym one morning. Her thoughts convinced her she was too tired, so she reasoned it was pointless to exercise. However, she made it to the gym after all and not only did she feel better, she couldn't believe how her thoughts sabotaged her an hour earlier. Had she succumbed to her feelings, she might have avoided going to the gym and lamented her choice later.

Have you experienced something similar in areas of your life? It happens to me often; though, I've learned not to trust my thoughts but commit to my goals and intentions instead. Our thoughts are saboteurs that stop us achieving our goals and highest intentions. Evolutionary psychologists believe this sabotaging is an adaptive mechanism to keep us safe from danger. Given the world we live in nowadays, the danger we experienced thousands of years ago is not prevalent anymore. Meanwhile, our biology hasn't changed given we still use the same mental framework to make important decisions.

So, what does this mean for you? You are one choice away from improving your life, which can have a transformative effect. The key is to better understand our thoughts, so we don't succumb to the saboteur that tries to convince us things are worse than they are. Nowadays, everyone talks about wanting more motivation. I don't accept motivation is the issue because it will only get you so far and if you lose motivation, what then? We ought to set the right intentions and develop good habits that lead to strong character. I'm not talking about the character that defines you as a good or bad person. I'm talking about character where you commit to your goals and purpose and follow through with them, no matter what. So, if your intention is to exercise four days a week, character says you show up four days a week, excluding if you are sick.

Are you comfortable with this idea that the next choice you make can improve your life in ways you never imagined? Now I can hear you say: "Tony, I make choices every day and none of them have changed my life." Granted, but are you making choices from a place of fear, regret and worry or based on inspiration and enthusiasm? The latter strengthens your commitment to your goals and purpose, where the former weakens it. Your commitment is tied to your character and if we break our promises, we lose trust in ourselves. We must do what we say we're going to do, as long as it is tied to the right intention. Therefore, we must have a higher understanding our true motives. For example, are we working towards improving our life or running away from something deleterious?

Accept The Fate Of Our Choices

Our choices can improve our life because they uphold our values and purpose. Psychologist say the pleasure principle is where people seek pleasure and avoid pain as much as possible. The problem is that pain can build character and strengthen our commitment to our goals. Pain allows us to recognise what is important to us, and let go of unnecessary or wasteful actions. We must be careful not to become pleasure seekers but understand our underlying motives better. Are you beginning to feel better that your decisions can lead to an extraordinary life, if you are clear on your intentions? Doing so requires knowing ourselves, which is tied to wisdom and experience.

Some of the wisest people I've met are those who've experienced great difficulties and suffering in their life. They've endured pain and gained valuable insights about themselves along the way. Oscar Wilde once said: "Experience is the hardest teacher; it gives you the test before the lesson." Yet many people don't heed the lessons until it's too late, and even then, they repeat the same mistakes over again. In many ways, they are like mice scurrying around in a maze, not understanding the rules of the game. But our choices can be powerful and change the course of our destiny, if they are aligned with our highest intentions. It's not necessary that we make difficult choices that disrupt our lives. Perhaps we can afford to do so when we're young, but as we mature, we ought to learn from our experiences and make informed choices.

Eventually, we must trust ourselves and accept the fate of our choices, instead of believing life is difficult. We are powerful beings and many don't recognise this power and resign themselves to mediocrity. Pain and pleasure help us learn how our choices can influence our life, if we examine them thoughtfully. Knowing this, I'd like you to think about your recent choices. Were they aligned with your highest purpose, or were they made impulsively? Ask yourself: "What is important to me and what am I willing to sacrifice to attain this?" Live by those values and I assure you, the next choice you make can improve your life beyond your wildest dreams.

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!

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1:55 / 7:19 REMEMBER YOUR DREAM - Motivational Video

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Affirmation for today...

How To Love And Nurture Your Neglected Self

Opportunities To Love And Nurture Our Neglected Self

What is the relationship you have with yourself? Are you aware of your inner dialogue related with your self-worth? How do you treat yourself when you're angry, fearful or sad? How we relate to ourselves during our darkest moments shows what type of relationship we with ourselves. Everyone experiences positive emotions when things are going right, but what about when life isn't going according to plan? These are opportunities to love and nurture our neglected self because the disowned self is the one we must come home to. What do I mean by coming home to ourselves? It means creating a place to honour our emotions, especially the difficult ones which call for our attention.

Many people run away from their negative emotions, and I used to be one of them. Besides, who wants to experience negative states regularly? We want to feel alive and happy and negative emotions don't fit into that plan. Or do they? Negative emotions serve a purpose and we mustn't run away from them but deal with them with openness and compassion. Because they are important messengers and running away delays our emotional well-being. Think about the negative emotions you experience from time to time? How do you process them? Do you journal how you feel and notice what they're trying to tell you?

Consider the following scenario as an example of why we must love and nurture our neglected self. Your boss constantly criticises you on your work performance, and you feel a sense of: sadness, frustration and anger. Over time, you bottle these emotions because they remind you of the disparaging comments from your boss. But what if there's an underlying message contained within these emotions? Perhaps by connecting with them on a deeper level, you learn not to take the criticism personally but improve respective areas of your work thus leading to a promotion.

Make Room For Negative Emotions

Emotions are transitory events that come and go from our nervous system, hundreds of times a day. Most people are not mindful of them because there's so much going on inside their heads. That is why we should listen to what is taking place beneath the surface of our lives, otherwise we will succumb to the negative emotions like a tsunami. Connecting with our emotional life means checking in with ourselves to see how we're doing. It means stopping, feeling and listening to what the emotions are trying to convey. A practice I undertake when anger, frustration or fear emerges is to stop what I'm doing and place my hands on my heart to observe my emotions. I sit and feel them, no matter how difficult or uncomfortable they are. I know these emotions will pass, and my job is to connect with them through an embodied experience.

An embodied experience means to somatically perceive through our nervous system, the emotion/s without deferring them. Many people distract themselves via: drinking, drugs, food, shopping, etc. when negative emotions surface. But eventually the emotion will seep through and grab our attention, when we least expect it. Our emotions are our soul's calling card. They don't have an agenda other than to communicate the essence of our true selves. They help us to make sense of life, so we can live in congruency with our authentic self. For example, if you're not receiving adequate love and affection from your partner, your emotions will tell you something isn't right. Some people try to rationalise it by telling themselves their partner is busy at work or has a lot on their plate. But our emotions don't lie because they are the foundation of our intuition, if we care to listen. Perhaps we're afraid to tell our partner we need more intimacy in the relationship? We might fear putting our demands on them will make them think we're being demanding and so we hold back.

Have you experienced something like this before? It might start out as a gut feeling that grows and turns into confrontation because you haven't communicated yourself properly. Therefore, we must love and nurture our neglected self because it is the part of us we need to come home to. The neglected self is the comfortable sofa we lay our weary body after a long day at work. It is the comfy pyjamas we wear on a cold winter's day. But like all emotions, we must also make room for negative emotions and process them with openness. The key is to be with your emotions and feel them in your body. Simply, stop what you're doing, and breathe into that area until the emotion dissolves or transforms.

I did this exercise recently after experiencing anger and tension from a busy day that didn't go as planned. I was sitting down late one evening, looking forward to reading, and was repeatedly interrupted, which led to anger and stress. I remember a thought entering my mind that said: "I don't have time for this right now." In the next moment, I dropped what I was doing and breathed deeply for three or four minutes, whilst moving my awareness to my chest where the anger was situated. What took place moments later was the most exquisite love I have experienced. Its presence was reassuring and comforting and I didn't want to return to what I was doing. I've since experienced many more moments like this because what I learned is that on the other side of our negative emotions is a pure and abiding love that beckons us to come home to. It is this love we must nurture often, instead of neglecting coming home to our true self.

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!

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Helping Happiness Along

Happiness is worth helping along.

The benefits of being a happy person are huge. We live longer, live healthier, and live more lively lives.

Unfortunately, all but the most highly-evolved among us have our less-than-happy moments. Fortunately, we can do simple things to recapture a happy mood if we find ourselves lacking one.

I found an article that starts, "Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness is more than pasting a smile on your face."

True, but that is a great start.

Pasting a smile on your face, even if forced, gets the happiness engine started. If you are from the North, a forced smile is like a jump start on a frigid morning.

Even though you are still freezing, you got started.

Another strategy is to force yourself to take a few deep breaths.

Something about our internal hardwiring will not allow us be negative and well-oxygenated at the same time.

A few deep breaths clears the head, relieves tension, and relaxes the posture. After some deep breathing, we hold our bodies in a way more conducive to a happy state of mind.

Another trick is to laugh.

We can do this the sane way or the insane way.

The sane way is to find something to laugh about. In my experience, this is the option most people choose.

This could be as simple as going to a joke website or watching a stand-up show on Comedy Central.

The insane option is the funniest, most self-reliant, and the most private. We can start laughing for no apparent reason, except to recapture the state of happiness.

I've done this and it works. However, for obvious reasons, don't try this at home, unless you are alone.

However you do it, help happiness along.

It's closer that you think.

Copyright 2004 by Tony Papajohn. Tony writes and speaks on success. Subscribe to his free SuccessMotivator e-zine at http://www.successmotivator.com.

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Handling Life's Obstacles?: Challenges, Or Problems?

At some point, or another, each of us face some obstacle, or obstacles, and often, the difference between enjoy the happiest, most contented, life, or a far more stressful one, is how we perceive and conceive of these, and proceed, forward! When something, unforeseen, and/ or, unwanted, occurs, each of us, must decide, whether to follow the path of problematic thinking, versus, deciding to view them, merely as a challenge, to overcome! You can think you can, or think you can't. Either way, you'll be correct. Henry Ford, credited with these words, believed he could create the world largest automobile company (when others, didn't believe in him), and perceived every obstacle, as an invigorating challenge! With that in mind, this article will attempt to, briefly, consider, examine, review, and discuss, how our attitude, in terms of overcoming life's issues, often determines the end - result.

1. Perceiving problems: The sky is falling. Is this, your way of handling life's lemons? When we see something, as being, problematic, it creates a negative attitude, which, does little, to nothing, towards achieving the best resolutions, and/ or, solutions! Those proceeding, this way, often resort to procrastinating, because they permit their fears and apprehensions, to dominate their mindset, attitude, and actions. They proceed, often, with despair, and the belief, It's out of my control, instead of, looking for viable, relevant solutions, and a better, personal, action plan!

2. Seeing obstacles as challenges instead of problems: When you proceed, with a greater degree of open - minded thinking, and self - confidence, you enhance your potential, and possibilities! Instead of limiting your options, alternatives, and opportunities, when you see things, with the perception, I can handle and overcome that, it creates far less stress, and more willingness to proceed forward, with a plan, instead of simply, procrastinating, and trying to avoid, what you perceive as undesirable/ scary, etc. Many things in our lives, can be explained, by looking at how the greatest, sports champions, handle the stresses and strains, of performing, under - pressure! When the game was on the line, the great, Michael Jordan, always, wanted the ball, because, he visualized making the key shot, and the basketball, flying through the net. The greatest professional golfer, of our time, Tiger Woods, always focused on the green, beyond the hazard, instead of the negative possibilities, of having the ball, fall in the hazard!

When you view obstacles as challenges, to overcome, as opposed to, emphasizing potential problems, you do harm, to your ultimate health, and well - being! Will you be your best friend, or worst enemy?

Richard has owned businesses, been a COO, CEO, Director of Development, consultant, professionally run events, consulted to thousands, and conducted personal development seminars, for 4 decades. Rich has written three books and thousands of articles. Website: http://plan2lead.net and LIKE the Facebook page for self - help: http://facebook.com/Plan2lead

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The One Thing Only 1% of People Do | TRY IT FOR 21 DAYS and Success Will Come!

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