An Inspirational Video for Personal Mastery | Robin Sharma

Self-Compassion - Same As Self-Love?

People fail. From time to time they mess up on the challenges of family relationships, life style, work etc. And when they blunder, they suffer adverse consequences. No wonder then that we speak of being kind and sympathetic to those who fail - who are struggling financially, emotionally, or interpersonally. But when it comes to our own problems, do we feel we ought to show the same thoughtfulness, the same gentleness, the same tolerance? Don't we need self-care as well as care for others? The mindfulness movement advocates we practice self-compassion.

"Self-compassion is a practice in which we learn to be a good friend for ourselves when we need it most - to become an inner ally rather than an inner enemy." (Kristein Neff & Christopher Germer, mindfulness teachers)

Why is self-compassion needed?

"All of us wish we'd had perfect childhoods, with a mother and father who modelled ideal parental attitudes and taught us to internalize the tenets of self-love. Many of us, however, did not." (Marianne Williamson, American author, spiritual leader, politician, and activist.)

Self-compassion and self-criticism

One can be sympathetically honest with a good friend regarding their weaknesses or mistakes.

"Sure, the job of high school teachers is not to tear down students' self-esteem. But it's certainly not to inflate students' sense of self-worth with a bunch of unearned compliments and half-truths." (L.Z. Granderson, American journalist)

Likewise having self-compassion and accepting our own faults does not mean agreeing with them. Honest self-acceptance can lead to correcting our mistakes. Self-evaluation is the vital first step towards personal change.

We can be self-critical without indulging in harsh self-criticism. Unless we honestly look at ourselves, we are in danger of self-justification, amounting to self-deception.

Self-compassion and self-pity

One can have sympathy towards one's own plight without being absorbed in oneself and wallowing in self-pity.

"Self-pity is never useful. It tends to distort like a fun-house mirror." (Anne Roiphe, American feminist and author)

"Discontent, blaming, complaining, self-pity cannot serve as a foundation for a good future, no matter how much effort you make." (Eckhart Tolle, spiritual author and teacher)

Self-indulgence

One can be kind to oneself without going on a self-indulgent binge or spending spree. Self-compassion is compatible with self-restraint.

I would suggest there has been a pressure on people to look perfect heightened by the celebrity culture. This has led to inadequate feelings particularly in many women exploited by advertising.

"L'Oreal's slogan 'because you're worth it' has come to epitomise banal narcissism of early 21st century capitalism; easy indulgence and effortless self-love all available at a flick of the credit card." (Geoff Mulgan, British social and political writer)

Self-interest

Loving oneself is good. For unless we love ourselves, how could we hope to love others? Likewise, without self-respect, how could we respect others?

There is a balance needed between love of self and love of others. A big difference lies between, on the one hand, having sufficient love and compassion for yourself and, on the other hand, narcistic self-love. The latter amounts to prioritising self-love which is never going to lead to feeling compassionate towards others in need. For when self-love rules, it results in self-serving, self-interest and selfishness.

"A modest dose of self-love is entirely healthy - who would want to live in a world where everyone hated themselves? But taken too far, it soon becomes poisonous." (Geoff Mulgan)

Lack of self-compassion blocks compassion for others.

Compassion for others may sound like a tall order. This is the case especially for those of us who lack self-compassion. But it is a higher calling.

Compassion is the key to living outside the confines of your lower self. (Debbie Ford, American self-help author and coach))

Can self-compassion as we have defined it, actually help us to find this deeper concern for others?

"Self-compassion encourages mindfulness, or noticing your feelings without judgment; self-kindness, or talking to yourself in a soothing way; and common humanity, or thinking about how others might be suffering similarly." (Rachel Simmons, American author)

How can we care for others if we cannot practice self-care? How can we be kind to others unless we are kind to ourselves? However, when we accept our own difficulty and unhappiness then we can better recognise that of others. Our pain is part of the shared human experience. Everyone makes mistakes and experiences hardships in life. As Kristein Neff & Christopher Germer point out, we are all flawed works in progress. When we see this then it helps us to feel connected with others in the same boat as ourselves. It facilitates a compassionate attitude towards our common humanity.

Self-compassion and Christian heritage

I see this growing interest in self-compassion as a healthy reaction against an unfortunate strand in our Western Christian heritage. This has been in my view a somewhat punitive notion of God. It assumes f there is a possibility the God who is love and mercy itself might not want to forgive us for any wrongdoing.

According to the analysis of spiritual philosopher Emanuel Swedenborg, this mistaken attitude stems from treating the biblical picture of multiple deity as literally true when it's meaning is metaphorical. Not three Gods but three aspects of the one God. As a result of this error a common image of God the Father has been one of wanting humankind to suffer for falling by the wayside. This anger, it is supposed, could only be appeased through the self-sacrifice of God the Son.

I would say this mistaken notion of deity has resulted in the traditional idea of 'original sin'. If true such a doctrine would mean we are all born guilty sinners deserving harsh treatment.

Such a negative view has permeated our ways of thinking. Unsurprisingly, we are quick to criticise our own shortcomings, failings and wrong-doing as warranting ill-fortune, punishment or rejection. And some of us actually condemn ourselves as unworthy of self-respect and care of others. The Gospel, however, is clear about our proper attitude to ourselves.

"Love your neighbour as yourself" (Jesus Christ)

As a clinical psychologist, Stephen Russell-Lacy has specialised in cognitive-behavioural psychotherapy, working for many years with adults suffering distress and disturbance.

He edits Spiritual Questions a free eZine that explores links between spiritual philosophy and the comments and questions of spiritual seekers. You can share your views and find out more about making sense of life.

His eBook Heart, Head and Hands draws links between the psycho-spiritual teachings of the eighteenth century spiritual philosopher Emanuel Swedenborg and current ideas in therapy and psychology.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Stephen_Russell-Lacy/880816

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To Improve The Quality Of Your Life, Focus On Getting Better

Personal Growth Is A Long And Arduous Journey

Do you want to improve your life? Are you committed to changing your conditions? Many people will answer yes to these questions, though it is my experience very few people are dedicated to improve their life. This is because the work is difficult, unending and filled with setbacks and disappointments. It is often lined with unpleasant emotions and digging up the past to heal and transform our wounds. But there is no other way than doing the difficult work of attending to our personal growth. It cannot happen overnight nor in thirty days, as many books espouse because this is only skimming the surface.

Everything taking place in your life right now, whether unwanted or not, is the accumulation of your thoughts and beliefs. This is empowering for many reasons least of which means you have the power to change your future by redirecting your thoughts. How you feel about this? Does it make you unhappy that your life's conditions result from everything you've ever thought? Whilst I understand you might feel this way, you may also see the power to create new circumstances for your life from this point forward. As I alluded to earlier, personal growth is a long and arduous journey with many setbacks and detours. Those who embark on this journey give up because of the difficulties they face.

I liken it to the Navy Seals BUD/S program where only 20 to 30% of candidates will graduate. The training is extreme and purposefully designed to weed out those not equipped to become Navy Seals. In some respects, personal growth is the same if you're not willing to do the work to improve your life. We cannot expect to do little work on ourselves and be awarded the riches of life, it just doesn't work that way. Read any biography on those who reached the pinnacle of success and you will learn about the struggles they endured. I'm reminded of the quote by the former American football player and coach Lou Holtz who said: "Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I'll show you someone who has overcome adversity." He was affirming that adversity builds character and contributes to our growth and development.

What Happens When The Going Gets Tough?

Therefore, to improve the quality of your life, avoid focusing on results but aim to get better instead. The goal is to build on your success while noting areas of improvement. For example, I wrote an article recently where I observed two people talking throughout an entire workshop I attended. Years ago, I would have been angered by their lack of courtesy and let them know about it. Think of those who talk throughout an entire film and ruin it for everyone else. However, I sat with my emotions and noted where I experienced the anger in my body. In the next instance, something unexpected happened. I felt compassion for these two people. I was overcome with a sense of peace and harmony because behind the anger was the realisation that only love exists. To reach this loving and peaceful state, we must first experience the anger, yet many people are quick to act on their emotions which prevents them from reaching love, compassion and inner peace.

Is this beginning to make sense, in that getting better should be our focus instead of wishing our lives were different? Are you willing to do the work no matter what it takes? Obviously you are invested in your personal growth because you are reading this article and maybe even sharing it with family and friends. But what happens when the going gets tough and you hit a hurdle in your personal growth? How do you react? Who do you become? I have encountered many setbacks over the past decade, yet I have experienced enormous growth during these times. Life will present us with the experiences needed for our personal growth when we least expect it. We can embrace the lessons or resist them, however they will continue to show up in a different form until we accept what is taking place.

So for now, I'd like you to give some thought to the areas of your life you want to improve. Write down in your journal/diary or on a piece of paper what you would like to improve about your life. Is it your finances, health, love life, career? Be very specific about what you want. Don't focus on what you don't want in your journaling. Second, what is required to change your circumstances? You might think you need to hire a life coach or invest in an expensive course but sometimes it is simpler than that. It may be as simple as not complaining for the next thirty days. It might require investigating your beliefs and forming new ones. The point is: everything you need to change your life is right at your fingertips. As you move through your personal development, the next resource will be made available to you. Therefore, to improve the quality of your life, stop focusing on results and direct your attention to enhancing the life you're living now.

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!

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The ONLY Video You Need To Find Your TRUE PURPOSE In Life | TOP 5 Best Advice Speeches | Goalcast

Dr Wayne Dyer - 5 Minutes Before You Fall Asleep - Positive Affirmations - Wayne Dyer Meditation -

Tony Robins - Focus on yourself

Affirmation for the day ...

One of The Most Eye Opening Speeches | WILL SMITH - Manage your Mind

The Power Of Affirmations

Affirmations are spoken statements that can be of a positive or negative nature. In the popular sense of the term they are spoken commands made purposefully in order to change some aspect of our life. In order to fully understand how affirmations work and the science behind their use we must first look at the way our minds work!

When we are born our brains are like empty computers waiting to be fed information. As we grow our peers act as our programmers, they supply us with the knowledge which we channel through the conscious mind into the subconscious (our hard drive). The subconscious mind is the biggest hard drive ever developed – it stores everything we come in contact with and by no means is all of this information of a positive nature.

All that we have heard, touched, smelt, tasted and seen are stored in the recesses of our minds. The subconscious mind holds on to this information until we need to recall it. For example when you were young your curiosity lead you to investigate your surroundings. When you approached a substance that was dangerous, such as fire, your parents or guardians would most likely have rebuked or scolded you if you ventured too near the flame. Perhaps you may even recall an incident when you were physically burned. Your subconscious mind then began to relate scolding (or pain) with the intense heat of the fire and would therefore feed the feelings of the scolding incident back to you whenever you got too close to fire again, thus acting as an early warning system.

This is the mechanism used by our brains to learn. It is also the same method employed by the mind in every situation. The subconscious mind has a tendency to emulate what it sees – it tends to replicate its environment. This is why so many people find themselves in similar relationships and situations that they saw their parents in while they were growing up. Most people also hold very strongly or similar views of their parents.

Think of a time when you gave yourself praise. What words did you use? Do you use the same words that your parents or peers used when they were praising you? The same is applicable when you scold yourself.

Watch your internal dialogue. Look at it closely. It takes diligence to change the way you think. When you notice yourself thinking a negative chose to think the opposite. This way you neutralise the negative thought. Now the think the positive thought again! You have just reversed the negative thinking in that moment and remember you only have this moment. No other time exists! You are in the NOW.

The whole point of affirmations is to convince the mind that what you are repeating is the truth. As you verbalize your desire you will find negative emotions and contrary statements entering your conscious awareness. You must deal with these negative thoughts as they arise in order for your affirmations to work! Many people use affirmations with EFT or the Sedona Method in order to eliminate the negativity that comes up as a result of affirming something that feels untrue.

During your normal day daydream about what might be. Imagine things the way you wish them to be. If you catch yourself thinking “this is just a daydream – a fantasy” then stop! Think the opposite. It is not a daydream it is your reality. Now think it again. Release the resistance as it arises in whatever ay you can.

If you just repeat affirmations with no feeling, or worse, feeling that it isn’t true, then you are actually affirming the opposite in your own mind! This is why some people find their situations actually getting worse when they work with affirmations. You must release the resistance by creating the feeling that the affirmation is true.

Bob Doyle goes into this approach indepth in his wealth beyond reason audio & video courses. I have found that affirmations will only work for me if I use EFT or the sedona method.

By creating the feeling of ‘having it now’ while repeating your affirmation you will begin to retrain your subconscious mind to think positively and you will ultimately begin to consciously create a life that dreams are made of!

Read the review of affirmware – the company behind a powerful affirmation software tool that can really boost the effectiveness of your affirmations!https://populararticles.co/the-power-of-affirmations/

Moral Courage

Courage, what is it? Everyone wants it, but nobody seems to know for sure what the word means. To me, a definition of courage without a spiritual basis is useless. My guru was certainly the most courageous person I have ever known. He dedicated his entire life to his ideology and proved that he was ready to sacrifice his physical existence at any moment for that ideology. From my observations he seemed to be without fear. Furthermore, his writings provided insight into the very meaning of the word courage that was astounding. It seemed he considered fear to be a fundamental block to spiritual progress and warned seekers against “worshipping” their fate out of fear. “A man must be bold. He must boldly face all troubles, all reactions to past actions!” is but one small example of his take on the importance of moral courage.

Normally, we think of bravery as something involving confrontations with other people or at least some emergency that pops up suddenly and separates the “men from the boys”, but my guru used the concept in reference to facing day to day events large and small, in stark contrast to being subjugated by them. Why would we worship fate? For the same reason that primitive people worshipped volcanoes; fear.

I remember an old song with the line: “As we lick the boots of death out of fear….” Ultimately what do we fear? Death, pain and related unpleasantries, disease, poverty… So, I suppose the courageous are more willing to face these things than most. Are the courageous free from fear? Or are they just willing to undergo fear for the sake of some greater ideal? And what ideal might that be which could inspire them to face the ultimate loss, physical death? Something more substantial than our physical existence perhaps.

So, is risking one’s life for something proof of a belief in God? Not necessarily. During the depression folks were committing suicide because they lost their fortunes. They were Intentionally losing their lives, because they felt life was too painful without money. So people will probably risk their lives for the sake of money and a variety of other things which they value more than their own physical existence: money, romantic partners, friends, family. Not only that but we often hear of folks killing themselves not over loss, but out of aversion to something in their lives, or something soon to come: disfiguration, incapacity of some sort, public humiliation, painful disease. So, there are apparently lots of things that people fear more than death; lot’s of stuff folks don’t want to do, or have done to them to the point they will face almost certain death.

So, suffice it to say that courage is tough to nail down. It’s got to be something strong enough to help us to face things even worse than death!

Myself, I try to live by certain ideals. I believe there is a God, a benevolent entity that created this universe we live in, and one who maintains contact with his creation in a way that has profound importance to us. A way that invites us to participate in a practical process whereby we achieve personal joy and fulfillment on the one hand and the ability to provide great benefit to our fellows on the other hand. OK, so that is what I do. I am involved in this relationship with God project, and that largely dictates my daily activities.

Most of those activities are very pleasant, but if it were all that easy, we would be bumping into enlightened beings at every corner, and that is hardly the case in my neighborhood anyway. So, many of these activities (let’s call them ‘yoga’ in the larger sense of the word) require discipline… AND I would go so far as to say many of them require what I would call courage. So maybe we are talking about some sort of stuff that is variably referred to as discipline, will power, hutzpah, guts, courage etc etc. Where does discipline end and courage begin? Probably that is a moot point; just different amounts of the same stuff, though I suppose few are going to salute us and exclaim “that took guts” when we get out of bed and brush our teeth in the morning.

So, perhaps a working definition of courage might be action performed against resistance of some sort, and we might add the particular that some risk is present.

Now the “moral” part; maybe this will separate us from the suicides and folks facing danger to save their financial empires. This leaves us with facing danger for the sake of an ideology (some sort of higher belief system).

At this point, I would like to descend from the theoretical to the mundane quite suddenly. I’ve noticed in my life lately the presence of two distinct forces, both trying to get me to behave in a certain predictable pattern. Let’s call them the the “low road” and the “high road”. I’ve already mentioned that I try to live by a certain set of ideals. That would be the “high road”. The low road is an amalgam of crude but quite normal tendencies: hunger, lust, greed, pride, and these two roads are often if not always in conflict with one another. Both forces have a life of their own with rewards and punishments at their disposal, and treading either road therefore requires some sort of courage in order to make progress.

Let’s take a look at the “low road” for a moment. Maybe it’s not really all that “low”; let’s just call it the “normal life”, “unexamined life” or something like that. You get up in the morning, you eat, you make money, you reproduce your species, you fill up your free time with entertainment. As long as no-one interferes with these activities, life goes on comfortably, but if someone gets in the way, what happens then? Probably you want to annihilate him, no? In any case, a conflict occurs and you have to choose between fighting and walking away from the conflict. Probably neither of these two options is very inviting.

OK, now let’s look at the “high road.” How does it differ? There is an interesting Zen saying: “Before Zen, chopping wood and carrying water. After Zen, chopping wood and carrying water.” So, you still get up, you eat, you go to work, you get married, you fill up your free time, but now you do it for the sake of your ideology. Not as a means of accumulating stuff, but as a means of achieving a spiritual goal, getting enlightened.

OK, cool, but what happens now when someone tries to interfere? Now things get interesting. If you have spent most of your life in “low road” modality, your gut is going to tell you to waste the guy, but now there is this “high road” voice beckoning and so you stop and think. Do you just let the guy take your stuff now that you are all spiritual and everything? Maybe he even wants to kill you.

I spent some time in India over the years, and I noticed one peculiar thing: there are no Buddhists: lots of Hindus, lots of Muslims, lots of Sikhs, but no Buddhists. Now how can that be? Buddha was born in India and spent his entire life there. What happened to all the Buddhists? They were exterminated by various invading armies over the centuries. In some cases, they just lined up in an orderly fashion while they were beheaded one by one. Is that moral courage? Not if you think that Buddhism is good for the world.

OK, facing danger is courage, right? But what if a man is drunk? What if a guy gets blind drunk and starts a fight? Is that courage? No, of course not. What about drugs? No, that isn’t courage either, is it? Then what about anger? What if a man is in a blind rage and punches someone. Is that courage? I don’t think so. I’m not striking an idealistic pose here. This is science. I just don’t think it is of any value for us to consider an angry man courageous. The rage might serve to intimidate others, but it isn’t courage in my book. It’s no different from any other drug.

There is a well-known scripture in Hinduism called the Bhagavad Gita. It is particularly appropriate to a discussion on courage, because the entire book consists of a conversation between a warrior and God immediately before an enormous battle. A battle which actually took place about 3500 years ago in India. The conversation is initiated by the warrior, Arjuna, because he has decided that fighting this battle is not the right thing to do, and the rest of the book/conversation is about courage, ideology, the nature of God and the universe; stuff like that. Arjuna is without fear, without anger, and considers the obvious moral issue of warfare and after taking God’s counsel finally decides he should and must fight. He survives and guides the human civilization of that era on to a new and brighter era.

Now my life seems very small in comparison, but it is all I have to work with, and I reckon I might as well take it seriously anyway. Despite it’s size, it bares a striking resemblance to the life of Arjuna however, in that I have lost my taste for fighting over the table scraps of this worldly existence in favor of the pursuit of more spiritual pleasures if I may be so bold as to say that. I find myself wanting to walk away from “battles” that I used to routinely wage out of anger and the fear of embarrassment. I get some sort of slap in the face challenge, yet figure I really don’t need the contested item, and prepare to walk away from the conflict. For better or worse, it just doesn’t work like that. I get this feeling like I’m supposed to take some sort of action for the good of the equilibrium of the cosmos, but in that moment, I have a hard time figuring out where the heck I am going to come up with the strength to fight “the good fight” as we used to say in Aikido in my Japan days. I’ve gotta say though, that some magic often happens in these moments. It doesn’t come easily, but it comes and brings with it a new found peace and strength. Dare I call it courage?

Peace and Love to you all.

Copyright 2007 Bruce Boyd and BabaNam.comhttps://populararticles.co/moral-courage/