I wake every morning at 6 am. Not because I'm a such a morning person, but because I know I will feel better if I do my morning routine before my son wakes up. Have you also noticed that what's important to us gets short shrift while we attend to whatever presents itself in the moment?
Every morning when my alarm goes off I want nothing more than to sleep more. The bed is so warm and cozy and my dreams are so sweet. I used to keep my alarm clock by my bed where it was easy to slap the snooze button.
Now it's across the room and I have to get out of bed to turn it off. Once I'm out of bed I'm almost always able to remind myself why I put the clock away from my bed, why I want to get up early, and why I want to take the two steps out the door to start my day rather than the two steps back to bed.
Why do I need to create a morning routine that helps me remember what's important to me? Psychologists tell us that we've got two systems in our brains-the rational system and the emotional system-and, unfortunately, they often disagree about what will make us happy.
The rational system thinks that happiness would be losing 30 pounds and taking stress off of the knee joints so we could walk without pain. But the emotional system thinks that happiness is dependent on devouring the bread basket, the cheese plate and the dessert tray. Guess which system usually wins? Hands down it's the emotional.
Psychologist Jonathan Haidt used a great analogy to explain this in his book The Happiness Hypothesis. He says that the emotional system is like an elephant, and on its back is a human rider that represents the rational system. The rider thinks he's the one in charge, but an average elephant weighs 6 tons, so who do you think is going to win in a fight?
If you want your rational system to win out, you've got to avoid a direct tug-of-war with the elephant. Your rider (what we think of as will power) thinks he's got it in the bag. But if you want to lose weight, don't assume that your self-control will keep you from inhaling that bowl of chocolate-covered popcorn (just to use an example from my evening).
Whatever you do, don't believe that if you only had more willpower, you would win. That would be like believing that two humans would win against the elephant. And please don't make your apparent lack of willpower an opportunity to be hard on yourself, or think that others have it easier.
If others do have it easier it's probably because they developed systems for managing the elephant, for working with the elephant, for respecting the power of the elephant.
It's impossible to stop an elephant on a dime (or stop him eating), but given enough time and foresight, he can be turned. And so, if you want to lose weight, you may want to keep bread or ice cream or Newman's O's (another personal favorite) out of your house. Or you may want to develop the habits that encourage exercise-like making time for a walk in your schedule, or making a date with an exercise buddy.
In my case, I wasn't "strong enough" to resist the siren call of sleep if my alarm clock could be turned off while I lay in my warm bed. So I established a system that made it necessary for me to get out of bed (and quickly, so the alarm wouldn't wake my child), which made it inevitable that I would stay out of bed.
Identify what's important to you and make sure you make them your priority first thing. What systems could you establish to make it inevitable for you to do the thing that you know would make you happier? Even if your elephant, in the moment of decision, disagrees?
Stacey is a purpose and success coach who helps you give birth to your BIG dreams. To find your purpose and passion, check out her FREE eBook,
The Purpose and Passion Guidebook.
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